First of all, this post is not about how to get control over your partner but over your relationship. When the word ‘control’ is mentioned it is usually in a negative context. It’s either about one person trying to control the other, or one person feeling like he or she is losing his or her identity and independence. But what most people don’t realize is that control is a fundamental part of our sense of independence, capability, and our ability to love and be loved. For a relationship to be empowering for both of you, you must constantly be aware and in control of what happens.
Dr. Elena Eustache works with many stars, celebrities, professional athletes, and successful CEO’s to help them increase the performance, memory, focus, and balance in life through neurofeedback. She also works with professional NBA players who have obtained injuries due to concussions and physical injuries. Dr. Eustache transforms people's lives and helps them reach their best potential.
Through Cognitive Behavior Therapy and coaching, Dr. Eustache helps her clients get rid of negative thinking. She helps them to rewire their brain thinking patterns by turning their negative thoughts into positive ones.
Dr. Eustache always begins her sessions with the following, “Do you want to suffer or do you want to be happy? If you want to be happy, you are in the right place. But, keep in mind that obtaining happiness it is not going to be easy and it will become a full time job. Suffering, on the other hand, is always free and available. It’s your choice. You choose!” If the patient chooses happiness, Dr. Eustache is more than willing to help guide them on their path to healing.
“There is nothing more beautiful and rewarding in life,” says, Dr. Eustache, “than to make someone happy by showing them how to love themselves, and to help them live and share with their loves ones, the life they have always dreamt of.”
“Love is all we need.” Dr. Elena Eustache
In my experience with consulting parents, I have learned that the major issue is with teens.
Mother-daughter relationships are hard to master. Girls (and women) are complex, and as daughters can prove to be much more difficult to get along with than with boys, especially during their teenage years. Many people try to offer explanations as to why the relationship between mothers and their daughters are not only difficult but sometimes also destructive. But instead of looking for the blame it might prove more productive to seek out solutions.
Are you a parent to a child with Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder? According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, there is a 1 to 10 chance that you are. But even without knowing the statistics, it doesn’t take much to realize your child might be suffering from this disorder. Children with ADHD usually have difficulties concentrating, for example during school or while doing their homework. They are also not able to sit still even for dinner or for a short conversation. But most obviously, they are hyperactive, all the time.
As a parent this can get very tiring and frustrating, and ultimately you will be looking for outside help. Whether you are just becoming aware of the problem or whether you have already tried other therapy methods, say medication, you should consider the benefits of neurofeedback therapy.
What is neurofeedback? Very simply, neurofeedback uses EEG (electroencephalography) to record brain activity. Brain waves are then translated through sounds or images so that the person can get positive or negative feedback on their performance (in various tasks). By constantly monitoring their progress, one can learn to control their own brain activity.
The benefits of neurofeedback are countless. Unlike traditional treatment methods, such as medication, which are usually given to ADHD kids, neurofeedback is natural and non-invasive. It does not put your kid’s growth at risk, nor will it make them sleepy or take away their appetite. While medication may seem like the quick fix to the problem, it often does more harm than good. With neurofeedback, on the other hand, the results are fast, long-lasting, and effective without side effects. Most importantly, by actively working on improving their mind, your kid will be happier and more confident.
So, to save you and your child time and pain, book a neurofeedback therapy consultation. You will be surprised at how much we can influence our mind without the use of medication drugs.
Reconnect as a family through these body-mind DIY projects
Let me start by telling you the greatest benefit of do-it-yourself projects: Everything!
First of all, working with your hands allows you to reconnect with your physical environment. Too often in our day and age we drift towards the silent world of electronic devices and settle for unsatisfying purchases by credit cards. By creating your own furniture, cooking with vegetables and herbs you’ve planted yourself, giving gifts you’ve actually put time and thought into, you might just gain a greater appreciation for the little things that sustain you in your everyday life. It is also a great kind of occupational therapy since it can relieve stress or just help you focus on one thing at a time. Not to mention the financial benefits DIY projects hold. Instead of spending money on things of mass production you can personalize your home while keeping your expenses to the minimum!
Talking to teenagers is not easy and takes practice, both for the parent and the teenager. You may find yourself thinking, how long has it been since I had a real conversation with my son? Or, when was the last time my daughter invited me to do something with her, like she used to? Sounds like teenagers alright. The important thing to remember is that this is a phase that will pass eventually. In the meantime, here are some dos and don’ts.
The first couple of years of marriage can be tough, but they are nothing compared to the 10, 15, or 20 years that follow. It is natural to feel that with the passing of the years you and your partner both start feeling bored, routine-trapped, or out of touch. But just because the honeymoon period is over doesn’t mean your relationship has to decline. Yes, the big gestures become smaller and the spontaneity is replaced with an everyday life. But in return for these things you get to raise a family, and to have a deeper, more meaningful relationship with your partner. The intimacy of an old married couple will never compare to the short lasting in-love feeling of the first few months.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Holiday season is upon us once more. Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa, this time of year brings family and friends together and with them reflections on our lives. For many, it is a time to rejoice and be thankful for the passing year. But for others, it is a stressful period of uncontrollable spending, exhausting dinner preparation, and even difficult encounters with fundamental family issues.
So how to go through the holidays so that you come out happy on the other side? Here are some tips to make the most out of it!
Firstly, focus on being grateful. For family, who is there for you no matter what. For friends, who love and support you. For the generosity of those who cooked for you or got you a gift just to make you happy. And finally, for the difficulties you’ve encountered this past year, because they gave you the opportunity to overcome them.
Secondly, avoid going into emotionally charged family issues. This is not a good time. Try putting aside your differences and remember why you all came together in the first place -- to enjoy each other’s company and be thankful for everything you have.
On a practical note, it helps to make a checklist with all the things you want to accomplish, ranked by their importance or urgency. When you’re done, encourage your partner or kids to help you cross off each item in its turn, so that it becomes a fun family activity. This can look something like this:
- Write Happy Holidays cards for friends
- Shop for presents (it is better to decide in advance who gets what)
- Shop for dinner / party (again, make a list and never go to the supermarket hungry)
- Clean the house for guests or cook
By the same token, it might also help to plan a schedule. Decide on which day you are going gift shopping, when are you invited to dinner at your friends’ house, and when you need to pick up your auntie from the airport. This way you will avoid those frantic last minute tasks.
Finally, set aside time for you and your (close) family to be together. Many people invite or visit all their relatives at once and this can be overwhelming. Whether you are guests or hosting, try to get away from everything even if it’s only for a couple of minutes of walking around the block, just you and your partner. Make sure to support each other and allow for some moments to breathe during the day.
Living with a child who suffers from Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) can be frustrating, exhausting, and possibly even harm the parent-child relationship. Some of the symptoms of this condition are impulsiveness, hyperactivity, and problems concentrating. In real life this means that instead of playing with their friends, your kid is running in circles around the house, never getting their homework done, and has great difficulties just sitting down quietly for more than 5-10 minutes.
In 2013 the World Health Organization estimated that over 39 million people (both children and adults) are suffering from ADHD. Since the condition was discovered, pharmaceutical companies have developed a complete drug industry around it. But the greatest irony about ADHD, which many people are now just starting to realize, is that many of the symptoms that impair your and your kid’s quality of life are actually caused by the drug that is meant to help them! These includes apathy, lack of appetite, delayed growth, not to mention addiction to the drug. Unfortunately, parents are often provided with inaccurate information or are so frustrated that they decide to live with the drugs' side-effects rather than with the symptoms of the disorder.
What most people don’t know is that there is a way to treat ADHD that allows you to throw the sedating medications straight to the trash can. This is called neurofeedback.
Neurofeedback therapy uses real time displays of brain activity (EEG), that guide the child on how to self-regulate their own brain function. This advanced and non-invasive treatment allows the child to monitor their brain activity by themselves and so learn to control it more effectively. Sound unreal? I thought so too until I began to study it myself. During my professional training as a neurofeedback specialist, I discovered that natural treatments such as these are also the most effective. When the only alternative is medication, neurofeedback might just save your child.
Their Crucial Years as Teenagers Are Your Crucial Years as a Parent
Your charming little girl who used to love dressing up like a princess is now refusing to wear anything brighter than grey. Your affectionate, talkative son barely says hello before walking out the door. Congratulations! You are the happy parent of a teenager.
Many parents wish their child will go back to being the cute, docile kid they used to be. Big mistake! You want your child to become the adult, responsible individual you raised them to be. Someone you can proudly watch as they graduate from college, marry the partner they love, and have children of their own. Here are some tips on how to get there.
Remember how it was when you were their age? Well, forget about it. They are living in a different world than the one you grew up in. Instead of getting frustrated try a different approach and be open to learning. If you really want to be a part of their life you need to understand what Facebook is and which TV shows everyone loves. Once you talk their language they will be more inclined to share.
Set the Right Example
Don’t be fooled by their distance – they are still your child and they are constantly looking at you for guidance, even if they don’t know it. Now more than ever you need to set the right example. Ask yourself the following questions:
- Is my relationship in a good place? This is the time when your teen starts thinking what a loving, respectful, loyal marriage should look like.
- Is mine truly a healthy mind in a healthy body? You can lecture your teen all you want about the importance of doing sports, meditation, and leading a healthy life. But if you don’t practice what you preach they will just think you are a hypocrite, and they will never do these things themselves.
Love, Don’t Push
Your teen loves you. Even if they don’t say it or show it. Remember that they are going through very hard times. So instead of forcing them to be with you, just be there for them. They will come when they are ready.
Relationships are a powerful thing. Every loving relationship you have was first built within a sphere of positive energy that was supportive and enriching for both of you. But between work, the house, and the kids, you might have let the excitement you had at first get pushed to the background. Those energies that were once a source of power are now trapped within an internal field, unshared and unreachable to either of you.
Elena Eustache Live in the Main Room at LA’s Famous Comedy Store
On August 22, 2015, Elena Eustache returned the Comedy Store, entertaining the audience with her special brand of stand-up comedy. Sharing the Main Room with her were The Greg Wilson and Bryan Callen.
Bryan Callen, born in the Philippines, began his career as one of the original cast members of MAD TV, and went on to play many different roles in films and television series.
The Greg Wilson has been a regular on popular comedy shows, such as ComedyTV and Showtime’s “Comics Unleashed with Byron Allen.”
The Comedy Store is an old stomping ground for Elena Eustache, who began performing there in early 2000. She is the creator of the television series “Ring Masters,” where she performs with and hosts many of today’s hottest new comedy talents.
Creating a Shelter from the Storm
Collapsing financial markets, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, floods, wars…the world has become a stressful place. As we have discussed in previous articles, we are all light beams of energy. And this energy surrounds and connects us. The chaos in the world creates channels of chaotic energy that impacts each one of us, whether we realize it or not. Perhaps you are not sleeping as well, or find that you have less of an appetite or the opposite. Maybe your patience is short and the little things that did not upset you before have now become your “red line.” What you want to do more than anything is board a plane and go to an island in the sea, but for various reasons, this is not practical. How can you create a shelter from the storm?
Your home—a refuge from the storm
Your home should be a refuge from the stressors of the world. But for many, home is just more of the same—a place of chaos, stress, discord, work—all the things that prevent you from having even a moment to recharge. Over the years, I have helped many clients create safe and calming spaces within their homes. Feng shui and Zen, practices that I utilize in my healing work, are great tools for creating a healthy, healing and rejuvenating home environment.
Here are a few quick tips for turning your home into your personal oasis of calm:
How to Help Your Teen Deal with a Broken Heart
It is almost a rite of passage—that first broken heart. You probably remember. The majority of teens move on from this event, and continue on with life. But some will mourn this first loss for the rest of their lives, and the pain of it will impact every relationship decision they make going forward, and not always for the best.
What can you do to help your teen deal in a healthy way with his or her broken heart?
I have counseled many couples, kids and parents on the topic of lost love or unmet expectations in the relationship, and I can tell you that your number one task is to give your teen lots of love—listen, validate, empathize, be patient and give them the space to heal. Here are a few pointers:
Everyone wants to be the master of their domain, but are you the master of the most important domain of all—your brain?
Maybe you are thinking…"this is a domain?” Indeed it is, because here is the home of all your thoughts, which express themselves as emotions, feelings, actions and reactions, sometimes to your physical and psychological detriment.
Neurofeedback: Training your brain
Neurofeedback therapy (NFT) has a successful track record of almost 50 years of clinical use, and is a process whereby you train your brain to function more efficiently. Similar to going to the gym, NFT teaches you how to exercise and strengthen targeted neural connections so that you can become the master of your brain—improving your attention span, maintaining emotional control, improving the quality of your sleep, recovering from stress, overcoming addictions, and other behavioral disorders such as anxiety and depression.
As a marriage and relationship counselor, one of the things I hear most often from married couples is that the spark has gone out of their relationship, it has become boring. Here are just a few tips that I like to share with my clients.
1. Humor. I have spent decades in the comedy business, from stand-up to televised comedy shows and I can tell you that nothing works better than laughter to bring happiness and intimacy to a relationship. Keeping a sense of humor and making sure you have opportunities to laugh together is one sure way to keep your marriage full of spice. Additionally, it is a documented fact that laughter strengthens your immune system, relieves stress, gives you energy and renewed strength to tackle all of your problems.
But “away” is not where you want to go. To reduce the stress, you need to go “within.”
Our lives are filled with maximum relationships and interactions in a hectic world that offers little time for true contemplation. We live our lives on autopilot. And, so are our reactions to life’s situations.
But, in truth, everything is energetic. We are bodies of energy and the world around us is filled with energetic forces. Deep within our subconscious is something called a bio-energy sensor that stimulates our emotional responses to situations and events. When the flow of energy through our bodies is blocked or imbalanced, we become weak to the energy created by the challenging event. We experience a certain emotion, but label it as a feeling, and if we are too weak, energetically, the result is anger, depression, anxiety, or physical and emotional pain and disease.
Offices all over the world are putting green incentives in place and going paperless. Sure, having less paper around gets rid of a lot of clutter which is great for Feng Shui, right? Yes, right but that doesn't mean you have any less digital clutter. If you turn your PC on, do you see hundreds of icons and shortcuts to folders and files on your desktop? Most people have a lot of clutter on the computers and mobile phones. Just like the energy in any electronic device can disturb sleep patterns, the energy held by digital clutter can have a negative effect on your life and wellbeing. It is important to put some time aside for a digital de-clutter. This is how you can start.
Get rid of the old stuff
Get rid of everything you no longer use. Documents, dated software, Facebook friends and phone contacts. If you are not sure who many of the people are in your Facebook or phone contact list, it is probably time to clear some of them out. Friends and family are easy to recognize and keep. If you are keeping contacts in your phone for future reference and have lost track of who does what, edit the contact's name by adding what they do, for example: Plumber John Piper or Cakes Jane Frosting. This makes it easier for you to locate a contact in the future. Feng Shui is all about making things flow better and smoother.
All of us have been fed the myth that couples who find themselves in couples counseling are the ones who are holding on to the final threads of a failing relationship. It is for couples who have been together for far too long in an unhappy situation and are making a last ditch effort before filing for divorce, right? This perspective on seeking outside advice for how to build a stronger and healthier marriage could not be further from the truth. Here are three areas that you and your significant other should definitely work on before walking down the aisle.
Feng Shui is rising in popularity in the West and has become a serious thing to many. I like to look at things in a more light-hearted way and decided to share a few amusing facts about it.
On a more serious note, Feng Shui is not just about de-cluttering and having an excuse to throw out your mother-in-law's Christmas gifts. It is a beautiful and wondrous system that has improved lives for centuries. The best place to start would be to consult with a professional Feng Shui consultant in your area and then enjoy the process. Although it is not magical, Feng Shui brings astonishing results.
Dr. Elena Eustach: Expert in Curing Broken Hearts,
Loves and Relationships
Dr. Elena Eustache is a comedian, actress, author, relationship coach, and psychologist. With a PhD in Psychology, focusing on cognitive behavioral therapy and Neurofeedback—balancing your brain, Dr. Eustache is ready to assist couples and individuals with every kind of relationship issue. She is the cure for your broken heart and love relationships.